![]() Handle them poorly and suffer the consequences. Walk away from crucial conversations and suffer the consequences. In truth, when we face crucial conversations, we can do one of three things: Just because we're in the middle of a crucial conversation (or maybe thinking about stepping up to one) doesn't mean that we're in trouble or that we won't fare well. How Do We Typically Handle Crucial Conversations? If you know how to handle (even master) crucial conversations, you can step up to and effectively hold tough conversations about virtually any topic.Ĭrucial Conversation (kr-oo shel kän´v?ur s¯a´shen) nĪ discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong. We use all kinds of tactics to dodge touchy issues.īut it doesn't have to be this way. We (the authors) have a friend who learned through a voice-mail message that his wife was divorcing him. Family members change the subject when an issue gets too risky. Bosses leave voice mail in lieu of meeting with their direct reports. Coworkers send email to each other when they should walk down the hall and talk turkey. We're masters at avoiding these tough conversations. ![]() Unfortunately, it's human nature to back away from discussions we fear will hurt us or make things worse. If you handle even a seemingly insignificant conversation poorly, you establish a pattern of behavior that shows up in all of your crucial conversations.īy definition, crucial conversations are about tough issues. ![]() Even something as trivial as a debate over a property line affects how you get along with your neighbor. Your relationship with your spouse influences every aspect of your life. Your company's success affects you and everyone you work with. Clearly a promotion could make a big difference. In each case, some element of your daily routine could be forever altered for better or worse. What makes each of these conversations crucial-and not simply challenging, frustrating, frightening, or annoying-is that the results could have a huge impact on the quality of your life. Three inches! He finishes by threatening you with a lawsuit, and you punctuate your points by mentioning that he's not completely aware of the difference between his hind part and his elbow. " From that moment on you end up in a heated debate over placing the new fence-three inches one way or the other. Your spouse walks off in a huff.Īnd speaking of the block party, at one point you're making small talk with your somewhat crotchety and always colorful neighbor about his shrinking kidneys when he says, "Speaking of the new fence you're building. You simply remember being polite and friendly. Apparently not only did you flirt with someone at the party, but according to your spouse, "You were practically making out." You don't remember flirting. You're in the middle of a casual discussion with your spouse and he or she brings up an "ugly incident" that took place at yesterday's neighborhood block party. You've got to do something different or your company isn't going to hit its annual goals. You're in a meeting with four coworkers and you're trying to pick a new marketing strategy. She thinks you're not ready you think you are. ![]() For example, you're talking with your boss about a possible promotion. Now, what makes one of your conversations crucial as opposed to plain vanilla? First, opinions vary. They're the day-to-day conversations that affect your life. The crucial conversations we're referring to in the title of this book are interactions that happen to everyone. Although it's true that such discussions have a wide-sweeping and lasting impact, they're not the kind we have in mind. When people first hear the term "crucial conversation," many conjure up images of presidents, emperors, and prime ministers seated around a massive table while they debate the future of the world. Order This Book! Secure Order Guarantee Item No: 9780071771320Įxcerpt from Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Chapter One: What's a Crucial Conversation? And Who Cares? The void created by the failure to communicate is soon filled with poison, drivel, and misrepresentation. Date: 2 edition SeptemAverage Customer Review: You Save: $6.40 (32%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours. Excerpt from Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High - Leadershop ĭescription and Reviews Read An Excerpt Reader's Index About the Author Table of Contents Customer Reviews Find Similar Items See Also: CommunicationĬrucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High - Second Edition Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
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